c is for…

la cocina. the kitchen. EVERYTHING happens in the kitchen. be prepared; if you’re planning on visiting our house at any point (or even if you’re not) and you have extreme (okay even slight) sanitation issues, do not continue reading. but if you are slightly intrigued, please continue reading. what really takes place in our cocina.

1. greetings. the most hygenic thing that takes place in the kitchen, without a doubt. i’m slowly warming you up. as friends and family enter through the side door of the house into the kitchen to avoid opening the front door (which, according to susy, lets people see too much of the inside of our house) plenty of greetings take place in our kitchen. morning greetings also take place here; depending on who wakes up first, one of us is normally making coffee, toasting some extremely white bread, and heating up milk. then we have our normal morning conversation which covers how we slept, if we had any dreams, and what are our schedules for the day. If neither of us are in a rush, we set the table and have a longer conversation in the dining room. i highly prefer the shorter morning conversations in the kitchen.

2. cooking. okay, so what. everyone cooks in the kitchen. however, i could go on forever about all of the differences between my american kitchen and my argentine one. i’ll do my best to keep it short. first of all, plastic bags and tupperware don’t really exist here. well, tupperware does, but it’s never used. when we have leftovers, we leave them on a plate, uncovered until we eat it for leftovers the next day..or the next week. we also leave raw meat uncovered in the fridge. we buy unrefrigerated eggs and then take them out of the carton, completely ignoring the fact that on that carton is an expiration date, and place them in the refrigerator door. we don’t use butter, but instead excessive amounts of oil, it never hurts to add a little oil. we don’t add salt to anything. (because susy has high blood pressure.. BUT, if her blood pressure is low, we dump it on nothing like letting you’re body regulate naturally, eh?) we don’t use very many spices; pepper and maybe some garlic powder. we use half of a tomato, half of a pepper, or eat half of a head of lettuce and then we put the rest of it on the shelf until we eat it or it goes bad. if it goes bad we have a whine fest about how we need to eat the vegetables quicker. same story goes for the fruit. and the only way we like to eat fruit is if its cut up in small little pieces and drenched in lemon juice. we also have mayonnaise, lots of it. and it comes in bags. oh the best thing about all of this kitchen stuff? we have ants everywhere. and susy refuses to call an exterminator. my favorite ANTecdote? when we found ants ALL over the medialunas. and i’m not kidding when i say ALL over.  sad thing is, we had already taken precautionary measures with these medialunas by wrapping them in saran wrap and hiding them in the microwave. there was no way we were going to throw away 6 medialunas, so what did we do? we turned on the toaster and burnt the away. and of course, susy insisted we still eat them. just pick out the fried ants, she said. definitely one of those moments where you just close your eyes, smile, and thank god for the extra protein.

3. dishes. i do dishes most of the time around here (i know mom, you’re probably dropping you’re jaw. i know you don’t believe me, but its true). and it’s not because i particularly enjoy doing the dishes. i do, however, enjoy clean dishes. and the dishes don’t get clean when susy does them. yesterday we had a carrot salad for lunch. we used the cheese grater to grate the carrots. when we were done, susy quickly ran said cheese grater under the water. no soap, no sponge, nada. lots of carrot remains remained. trying to be as subtle as possible, i took the cheese grater from the sink and washed it again, just imagining what . this has happened more than once. to my roomates next year; i’m now a pro at dishes, just your luck.

4. laundry. yes the washer is in the kitchen. strange, but weirdly appropriate. we also sometimes wash clothes in the kitchen sink if, for example, we have one or two little things that don’t merit a full load of laundry. nothing like a multi-use entity, huh? oh it gets better.

5. hair washing. i can’t even believe this one. but its the truth. susy washes her hair in the kitchen sink. the same kitchen sink that she fills up to wash the lettuce and the strawberries.  she doesn’t wash her hair often, but when she does, she does it in the kitchen. that also reminds me of the time one of her friends and her friends daughter came over and basically set up a hair salon in the kitchen. they washed the dye out in the kitchen sink and left loose hairs all over the counter. lunch was really hard to stomach that day. its things like this i just wish sometimes i didn’t have to even witness.

6. feeding the dog. last but not least. we’re not the only beings of this household to use the kitchen. topito also eats and drinks in the kitchen. along with the massive amount of dog food that he consumes on a daily basis, he also eats our leftovers. his favorite is chicken. he is also a fan of cheese skins, bread, crackers, and pork. he’s also never recieved a bath (i’m pretty sure), spends most of his day laying around the house or the backyard, and frequently gets let out into the street to be able to walk around and play a little bit. not the cleanest canine i’ve ever met.

don’t believe me? i wouldn’t either if i wasn’t living here.

but hey, i haven’t died yet.


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