i’m dreaming in spanish again (wahooo!). last night’s dream was fantastically hilarious. part of me wishes it could actually happen, most of me is glad it never will.
picture me in a red dress and a heinous pair of floral clogs. i am supposed to be resembling a young blonde comedian. but i’m a brunette, 15 years younger, and when she steps into the room to introduce herself i don’t recognize who she is. she is offended. i’m pacing around what resembles a green room along with 15 other people – some of who i recognize as friends, others who i’ve never met. i’m not really talking with anyone and i’m pretty sure most of the conversations i’m having with myself are half in english, half in spanish. our pictures were hanging on the wall like we were in a museum. and then i realize out what is really happening.
we are about to go on stage for a comedy show. yes, ME. about to give a stand-up routine to a LARGE audience. and by a large audience i mean an ARENA FULL OF PEOPLE in TEXAS. as we parade out into the arena (i for some reason am still in the dress and the heinous clogs, everyone else has changed into normal street wear), a larger than life man (picture a michelin man float) is reading a poem to the audience as we all line up to give our routines. in the green room i drew the number 15 – i would be the last to perform. great – i get to watch everyone else make the crowd laugh as i ponder my unplanned five minute routine. then it hits me – i will do a mockery of my life, walking through the hysterical ins and outs of my everyday life. recounting stories of things that only happen to me (this would be totally possible, by the way. and hysterical). this will get the crowd for sure.
and for some reason i come to believe that the audience is full of people who speak spanish. i MUST get their support, i think. i will win this comedy contest by connecting with the spanish speaking audience. (all of this planning is happening while my competitors re-do their routines from our last show -we were a traveling troupe, i guess). in spanish i would introduce myself and share my plan. i was going to convince them to laugh when i told them to. [cuando yo les digo que se rien, tienen que reirse aún si no les he contado un chiste] i would have the audience in cahoots and i would without a doubt win the competition.
i woke up before it was my turn to go up to the mike. thank god. but i did get to see quite a few contributions from my troupe-mates and they were hilarious.