THEN and NOW.

this question from the daily prompt got me thinking today: do parties and crowds fill you with energy, or send you scurrying for peace and quiet?

ask anyone who knew me seven or eight years ago. they will tell you i am somewhat quiet, reserved, even a little shy. people will tell you i don’t like crowds. they will tell you stories of how i avoid public transportation, the mall of america, and concerts. some days, i may even avoid target. they will tell you airports are not my favorite places. they will tell you i am likely to spend weekend evenings at home. they will tell you i don’t like parties or talking to strangers.

well, they are wrong. that was THEN. this is NOW.

ask people who know me today and that is not what you will hear. people (hopefully) will tell you i love to explore. to try new things. to ride the light rail. [insert side note about a full ethnography on the light rail freshman year that entailed spending countless mornings riding the light rail back and forth, taking notes about the people who occupy the light rail during the morning and afternoon rush hours] people will tell you i like talking to strangers, staying in hostels, people watching in airports, and roaming malls, just because. thank the lord for this thing called transformation.

i cannot pinpoint an exact day when this change occurred, but it happened sometime during my two and a half years in the philippines. i am incredibly thankful for that opportunity and what it did to change my life. i now understand the power of people & the energy they can give me. i understand the importance of being able to work a room. the importance of networking, the importance of listening to stories – even if they are those of strangers. i understand my own ability (and need, frankly) to get energy from the people around me. and for that, i am thankful.

this change has been powerful in my life. i would not be where i am today if it were not for that/those moment/moments/years of transformation.

and regardless of this transformation, a part of me still sends me searching for peace and quiet after an evening in a big crowd (the introvert in me will never fully fade). i’m thankful for that, too. 

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2 thoughts on “THEN and NOW.

  1. Pingback: Daily Prompt:INTJ | Joe's Musings

  2. You have come a long way, Mariah! It is so good you can see things in your life that you would like to change and little by little you work on those things you would like to change. You have experienced and accomplished so many things in your young life, I’m so proud of you. A client of mine told me that she has been jounaling since she was 16 years old. Every night before she goes to bed she writes in a journal and she has them all kept in a wooden chest. She said that journaling helps her work out her thoughts/frustrations, etc. You and Florence are an inspiration to all of us. I think about journaling, but haven’t quite got in to the habit. Love you!! Mom

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